Beautiful
by TrunksBabe
Summary: a song fic featuring Cloud's feelings for Sephiroth WARNING: YAOI


'She wears a coat of color

Author's note: This is a song fic, featuring the song 'Beautiful' by Creed, but you're just gonna have to change all the 'She's to 'He's, because obviously its not about a woman ^-^
    
    Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII, or any of its characters. I also do not own the song 'Beautiful'; it's by Creed. I am just borrowing them for the purpose of this fic, please don't sue!

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Beautiful

By: Fire Heart (a.k.a. TrunksBabe)

__

'She wears a coat of color

Loved by some, feared by others

She's immortalized in young men's eyes'

The silence washed over the crowd of spectators, their wary eyes filled with the very presence of fear. All of this directed towards a creature that commanded obedience with his very presence. Flowing silver hair accented by the coal black cape that cloaked his body from the world, almost as well as his own pride kept his soul and heart from the world. Uneasy guards shifted from one foot to the other, as they glanced at each other, unsure of what to do, or for that matter, think. It was a rare occasion that this virtual god would show himself in public. Every one in ShinRa was used to only catching glimpses of him amidst the confusion of battle.

One timid blond looked up from the crowd, and felt his heart twist and contract, as he saw those emerald eyes staring right at him. He, who had always been just another face in the crowd, who had never gained the notice of anyone with even half the rank of the lowest class SOLDIER, now found himself face to face with a legend. There was no mistaking that cold gaze was directed at him. There was just something about the way the other man's eyes seemed to look right down into the very depth of his soul. The way they stripped him of every thing he was, and everything he ever wanted to be. Leaving him shivering in the cold, with nothing to hold himself up. That powerful stare, could be anything but random, it was frightening, but at the same time, it was exhilarating. To have been noticed, if only for a second, by this man was the one thing Cloud had waited his whole life for. He had even shaped his world around that one sight, that one last strand of hope that someday this man would notice him. 

Though Cloud dared not hope for more. He knew what his place was, knew how insignificant he must seem before those eyes. Cloud wanted to hold onto that glance, to cherish it, make it last an eternity, to live forever in its grace. However, the moment of fulfillment ended, cut short and its very climax, leaving Cloud breathless and in awe. Sephiroth had turned away. 

_Turned away from you… he doesn't want to have to waste anymore time on an insignificant boy like you… _

Those thoughts always tormented Cloud. Every time he even let a shred of hope into his heart, some other part of himself pushed it away, or worse yet, dissected every painful flaw of such hope, leaving the poor blond almost ashamed he had even considered it. 

'Lust she breeds in the eyes of brothers

Violent sons make bitter mothers…'

The blond ShinRa guard lay awake on his blanket, having left the confines of his assigned tent. Staring up into the empty space that separated himself from the heavens always brought him little peace, but at least it was an escape from his own thoughts. Though instinctively he knew they would only reappear with greater force, now that he no longer had the hushed words and heavy breathing of his fellow guards to distract him. But at least he had been able to keep the thoughts from returning for the few minutes it took for him to gather up his blanket and climb outside the tent. Cloud smiled as he remembered how unreasonably difficult the next part had been. He had planned on simply finding an unoccupied spot on the open field, but he had not realized just how many tents there really were.

_It's a big campaign, you should have known better then to assume there'd be any open space for miles…._

Though he had gotten lucky and found this spot, just outside the outer ring of tents. The tents had been set up bull's-eye fashion for the night, with the main commanders on the inside, and the rest of the troops organized so that their ranks got lower as you traveled away from the command tents. Shallow woods surrounded the last ring of tents, and he wouldn't have been nearly as comfortable sleeping on top of rocks and the fallen limbs of trees. Cloud had nearly given up, while circulating the outer ring, of ever finding a spot, when he reached an irregularity in the otherwise perfect circle of the surrounding forest. A small indent in the unending procession of trees, which was just perfect for him to sleep in. Other troops had also opted to stay outside, but they tended to stay closer to the inner tents, too afraid of the rumored 'monsters' in the area. 

Cloud resisted a snort. As if there was actually such a thing as monsters. To Cloud, those who whispered of their existence, were either paranoid, or drunk. Though he had to admit the later seemed to be the more likely of the two, considering the reputation ShinRa's troops had, especially now that the war was over.

The blond cringed. He had been too young to join before this, and now that he was actually here, the war was over. He also knew, that he wasn't the only youth who had joined the army in hopes of gaining the same heroic reputation as…

_As Sephiroth? You really thought you could have been anything like Him? You're barely fit to live in the same world as Him, let alone achieve what he has…_

Cloud pushed the thoughts away, and tried to concentrate on the stars, seeking an escape from his own mind that he knew wasn't even possible. The young man often wondered how he had ended up here, instead of along side Him. 

He pushed against the thoughts that seemed to swell into his mind with the reference to the other man. 

Cloud knew that he was as strong, and maybe even as smart as those who usually made it into SOLDIER. But, with the end of the war, ShinRa had a whole new set of standards for those who wished to join their ranks. Every one had to be like Sephiroth. If you weren't exactly like him, then you weren't worth the time it took to test the full of your abilities. He could always try becoming a Turk. Although truthfully he couldn't bring himself to joining for the simple reason that he wouldn't have even those small encounters with the Angel. 

Cloud's thoughts stopped short with the use of the nickname. He had never been sure where it had come from, only that it seemed to suit the silver haired general well. Sephiroth truly was an angel. God-like beauty hiding the unfathomable power which rested inside the cold general. There was also that 'semblance of untoachability that radiated from the dark clad man. He seemed so perfect; to the blond there was no power that could mar that image to him. Sephiroth was an angel, if not a god, that was the end of it, no questions or evidence could be raised to alter the boys faith in the man he….he….

__

Loved?……

There was no malice in the voice that had managed to resurface without the youth's knowledge. In fact, there was no emotion at all. It was a statement, a fact, a truth? Could it be that Cloud had fallen in love with a man he hadn't even seen close up? All he had were brief encounters, and tales of greatness, but still it seemed to Cloud that his feeling toward the other man ran deeper, and much more powerful than even He could begin to understand. 

The blond doubted that Sephiroth cared about love, or even knew the word. The man always seemed so cold, so detached from the rest of the world. His body a shell, a toy to be used by ShinRa whenever they needed something done, or to rally public support using him as a figure-head, as if he had no soul, no heart, no life inside him. However, Cloud could not bring himself to accept that fact, his heart wanted so badly to reach out to the silver haired man. His body longed to press against the SOLDIER's, to embrace the heat and heartache his fantasies had left. And there was also a part of him that wanted to give the other man a place of solace, wanted to protect him from the pains ShinRa had forced him to bear alone. What he wouldn't have given to bear those pains a million times over, if only to keep Sephiroth from them, to keep him safe. 

'So close your eyes, here's your surprise'

As the night wore on, sleep finally took the blond man in and wrapped him up in its silent warmth. Though it could not completely separate him from his unending train of thought. He lay silent, his mind drifting in a strange sort of limbo between consciousness and sleep. His mind always dragging him back to himself, never letting him truly sleep, though not powerful enough to keep it from him entirely. Cloud's thought continued to wander during the night, always returning to one name one being that never left his thoughts, or his heart.
Suddenly his thoughts began to shift uneasily, as if afraid of something that could possibly bring them out of the confines of the young man's own head. Though Cloud did not want to leave the peace and indifference he had found while watching his own thoughts play out before him, as if in some old movie with no sounds, only pictures. He pushed aside the unconscious warning, and continued to watch his thoughts, mesmerized by the clarity and sharpness of each thought. 
He rarely got to escape into this world. His logical mind always criticizing him at how easily he could slip into such a state of uncaring. Always forcing him to view these moments as a weakness. It even went so far as to blame his failures upon the time he took to be alone with his thoughts, instead of doing something to strengthen his body or mind. But it seemed with the unending grace of the stars above him, Cloud had been able to hush the logical part of himself, and allow his heart to have control of his consciousness. 
Once again that persistent prick in the back of his mind told him that something was wrong, that he needed to wake, and…
__Fast! Get up NOW!! Or it'll be too late! For god's sake, NOW!!!!!
The thoughts sounded hurried even afraid, and Cloud took a moment to indulge in their fear. Although some part of him knew that he would get no where by trying to hurt a part of his own mind, and they seemed so persistent, as if there really was something wrong. 
    But he still did not want to leave his blissful half-sleep, did not have to return to the harsh reality, where he would never get a real chance to chase after what he wanted. Where his innermost desires were secrets that had to be protected at ALL costs. He rested now in a place he knew he wouldn't be able to hold on to for a long time if he gave it up now. However his body had already chosen for him, no matter how much he protested, he knew he was soon about to leave and return to the real world.
    As if reacting to his last thought, Cloud's body shot up from his sweat-soaked blanket. Body covered in sweat, his eyes shifting quickly from side to side, searching for what had caused his mind to disturb the peace he had acheived (and more than ready to obliterate what ever it was). A cool breeze stirred his hair from where it had become plastered to the back of his neck, and offered some comfort by cooling his burning skin. 
A quick scan of the area revealed nothing but shadows, and he began to feel his eyes close with newfound weariness. Then, just before unconsciouness took over, Cloud thought he made out a wisp of silver flying silently into veiw of the moonlight. The airborne stream seemed to watch the young soldier as he setled back into a dreamless slumber. As if it carried a promise, one that could either be seen as salvation, or damnation.


End file.
